Someone

Someone in my town died this week. I don’t know who it is but I am sure I will find out eventually. I hope it wasn’t anyone I really know, but in a town this size you kind of know everyone. Well, almost. There is still that creepy guy who walks his ugly terrier sized dog around the neighborhood. I don’t know his name, and really I don’t want to know his name. He is creepy.

So back to the death. Someone. We live down the street from a Mortuary. The people that run it are so very nice and I have enjoyed talking with them. Till yesterday when I drove by on our way somewhere and I saw a whole lot of cars in the parking lot. It brought back too many painful memories that I am trying really hard to forget. Today though, as we drove by the church (its at the end of my street too), the parking lot was full and I saw the hearse outside. I almost started bawling. I have something in common with someone in my town. I am sure I will hear through the grapevine soon, but really I would rather not. Someone else is gone, Someone else’s family will be trying to move on in life.  For now, I guess I will just say it here, I am so sorry dear Someone. So, so sorry.

Knock Knock

I love that kids rebound from difficult circumstances. It makes me jealous sometimes of their innocence. Instead though, I have decided to capitalize on the joy they bring into my home.

Lily is constantly smiling. Unless she is scowling because Melody taught her that trick and they both find it insanely funny. The two will scowl and then cackle at each other for 20 min or more (and in the attention span of a three and one year old, that is huge).

Melody though, she just says the most off the wall funny things. It helps that she has a huge vocabulary for a three year old, I blame it on her writer father. Anyway, last night she told a joke to Dave. It made us all laugh, so I am sharing it with you. Hope it is a little bit of sunshine for your day as well. We can all use it.

Melody: knock knock.
Dave: Who’s there?
Melody: Banana
Dave: Banana who?
Melody: Love banana! (short for I love bananas!)
Melody, followup: I come in?

Priorities

My house is clean today. I mean, I mopped the floors and everything. I felt like I could give Lily more freedom than usual. Normally I contain her to one room or her play pen. Today though, she has the run of the downstairs portion of my house. She has crawled about everywhere, climbing up on every couch, explored.

But what I love, love, LOVE… is that even with all of the freedom, she chose to climb up into my lap to play patty cake.

Hello again

Hello, I am here again. I found that when I started blogging, I was writing for my readers. I hoped to become one of those ultra popular bloggers that people can’t go half a day without reading my witty thoughts. Alas, I never made it beyond a few dedicated friends as readers, and I am absolutely ok with that.

Friends don’t mind if you just blather on about whatever is inside your head. If I had dedicated readers, I would feel so much pressure to blog. Right now, I am blogging for me, to get my thoughts out of me.

I feel that there is a change brewing within me. I know that sometimes a traumatic event can bring about the winds of change, and I definitely do not have the corner market on trauma. I just find that something deep within my soul is different. I haven’t figured out what that is yet, but somehow I think it will be for the better. I hope it will be for the better.

Yesterday I read a post by Karen that I found so thought provoking. Normally I would have tried to just tell her it was beautiful in her comments section, but this time it resonated so deeply within me. I have found myself going back just to read the poem within the post again and again. Her whole overall message is that “this is the day your life will surely change…” I feel it, change. Something is coming… I also feel like breaking into a song from “Wicked” For Good Story of my life right now, I am changed, for good. There is no going back, so I am jumping in with both feet. Thanks for sticking around to read my ramblings, but this time I am writing for me, and that is good. I think.

Hello world

I have been inspired by friends to actually attempt to blog again. Much has happened in my life in the past few weeks to throw me into turmoil, but I find that I do not want to talk about it today. I am trying to move on with my life. I am trying to just show up and get through the day.

So, here I am, showing up. Trying to be normal. What is normal?

My daughters make me laugh, especially the three year old daughter. She has taught my baby how to scowl. Really, we don’t like it, but my baby! She scowls then laughs because that is what her older sister does. I love their smiles way more, so I instructed my older kids to not respond at all when the baby scowls. So far, it isn’t working because the baby thinks it is funny.

I used to hide their names from this blog. I have other friends that use their kids names and I find that I like it better than hiding them. Old habits die hard I guess because I am still referring to them as “the three year old” or “my baby” instead of Melody and Lily. There, I did it. I put their names in there. I am moving on.

What a lame post. But I guess it is, at least, a post. Hello world, I am grieving but I am also trying to go on living. My brother would want that.