Alone time
November 26, 2007When M came home from school today, she stated that she wanted to play by herself. Normally that wouldn’t be a problem, but L had seriously been waiting to play with her all day long. L struggles with the fact that she is home alone with me, I just don’t play like her sister does I guess… Anyway, L came in crying because M wouldn’t play with her. I decided to sit down with both of them and share a story.
My younger sister had a best friend. This friend of hers had all the toys, a nintendo, dolls, games, you name it. Obviously, I wanted to go over there and play with them. I found it completely fun. It also helped that I really liked to play with my sister and her friend. The problem was, they really wanted to play together, without the hanger-on of an older sister. They created what they called “alone days”. Basically if they called an alone day, I had to leave. I absolutely hated it. Although now, as a grown up I can totally understand their reasoning. I mean, what kind of a dork wants to hang out with younger kids? For me, I was just insecure in my own world of friends- they were easy to get along with, and accepting of me…
While I understand the need for alone time, I believe that there is a time and a place for it. I made a deal with M, that we would find some time during the day to play alone, if she would play with her sister right after school when L is just bouncing off the walls waiting with complete anticipation for her. I kid you not, today she had her face plastered to the front window and she did a happy dance, yelling out “I see the bus! M is almost here to play with me!” I swear that it broke my heart to hear the magical, evil words of “alone time”. I am thankful though that my own experiences helped her to see that there is a time and a place for it. Just perhaps not right after school…
That sounds like a smart solution. I’m sure you’ll be able to navigate them through this transition.
My 3 older sisters all came right in a row, each one almost exactly 1 year apart from the next. Then there came my brother, and then me (and eventually my little bro). So there were the 3 oldest, then a 2 year gap until me.
When I was little my sisters made “The Three Sisters Club” and I wasn’t invited. But I could *earn* the right to play with them by doing their chores and stuff. I doubt my parents had any idea that was going on (they were pretty oblivious—6 kids, 5 of them incredibly close in age!). I still remember begging to play with them and they’d say, “Sorry, this is the The Three Sister’s Club. You’re not one of the Three Sisters.” So I always had to play with my brothers. Probably why I’m not very girly-girly!
At least M just wants some alone time!